29th October, 2009 … In Your Freedom I will live.
Hm… your probably thinking that the title of this blog post is very weird and random… but there’s a story behind it.
29th October, 2009… This was on a thursday… for many of you thursday is just as any other day… nothing special or important.. but to me THURSDAY is one of the most important day of my week. and 29th October, 2009 became one of my most memorable day… It is the day when God broke my heart, when a door of opportunity was opened for me- it was right in front of my face, but yet i didn’t fully stepped out of my comfort zone and in to God’s will.
26th October, 2009 God asked me to write a story about my life, after writing it God told me to tell my story to the Ministry (Chosen Generation ) that we run at my school every Thursday lunch! and yes, that is why thursdays are important for me ! it is the day when God really speaks to kids who doesn’t know Him and for those who want more of Him.
I told my story, but as i was speaking i felt like God wasn’t there, i knew it was me who was speaking, and that i wasn’t letting God speak through me! i obviously didn’t want that! i wanted God to speak through me… but time and time went on… but then again, God wasn’t there, i knew He wasn’t speaking through me, i got even more scared… and i quickly realised that it was my “fear” that stopped me from letting God speak through me.
I was so focused on my worries, and didn’t turn to God! BIG MISTAKE ! and then… the bell went for 4th period… Ministry finished without God speaking, i wasn’t sure if the kids got the message since it was me talking… i walked out of the room, the corridor were full of students walking and running to their classroom, it was loud but i felt like i was all alone, i felt like i was walking in an empty corridor, i just became so silent !
I got home that day, still thinking of what happened… i walked into my room, and as soon as i closed the door behind me, i fell on my knees and tears started flowing down my cheeks, God broke my heart for what breaks His! i felt this pain in my heart, this desire to get those kids saved… and every day of my every week i have the chance to reveal God’s glory. And then i remembered this verse:
“Get rid of your sins, and leave all iniquity behind you. Then your day will brighten with innocence. You will forget your misery, it will be like water flowing away. Your life will be brighter than the noonday. Even darkness will be as bright as morning. Having hope will give you courage. You will be protected and will rest in safety. You will lie down unafraid, and many will look to you for help.”
-Job 11:14-19
I realised that this is what God wanted to say through my story, but I got scared and got too caught up with my own worries ! God said to me, “I am the light to your feet, and you know that i will guide you everyday, you don’t walk in darkness anymore, you are found in the light of my love for you, i have set you free…now, what are you going to do with that freedom? ARE YOU NOT GOING TO OPEN THE GIFT I HAVE GIVEN YOU and USE IT?”
And from then on, i realised that this is the time where God doesn’t just want me to open the gifts that His given me… but to actually use it and take care of it.
Everything that God gives us is something more than special ! it is to be recieved with an open heart, and willingly open that gift, and use it carefully. God has set me free, i can now walk in freedom and not care about what other people say, God’s given me the influence and power to speak about his Love in my school, and i choose not to take it lightly… every day counts, and every day you got to be alert and know that God is MIGHTY so what and who can ever snatch you out if HIS VERY HANDS!
29th October, 2009… The day when God showed me the bigger picture of my role in His story… how much influence and power i have over those kids through Jesus who lives in ME!
My question for you is:
“What are YOU going to do about the gift of FREEDOM that God has given you???”
running the race with you,
daryl jayne santiago
